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Speak No evil...

Scared woman with gag over mouth and finger up to her lips, beckoning you to be quiet.

Somewhere along the journey of life, I ‘electively’ lost my voice…

It started when I was married to my narcissist, and anything I said became twisted, contorted and shoved back in my face.

As someone who pretty much ALWAYS felt like they had to fight for their rights, this was quite a surreal experience, but was one that happened, because I inherently knew that I needed to protect my emotional energy, and trying to defend myself just about KILLED me!

So, one day, I just realised that there is no use trying to defend yourself, when someone has already made their mind up to misunderstand you. You’re just fighting a losing battle. 

And, I no longer wanted to explain myself
Defend myself 
Or, make excuses for myself

I just didn’t want to say – well, anything?

I had come to the realisation that if someone genuinely believes that you’re a bad person, because that’s what they’ve been told, then it’s a waste of your time, energy and emotions to try and rectify that for them. 

I mean, we’ve ALL had that ex who tells you how crazy his exes are (when the one common denominator between them and their list of ‘crazy’ exes, is THEMSELVES) And I began to understand that there were also more clever ways to win the game… if you give them enough rope, eventually they hang themselves with their own lies.

Sometimes, all that you can do, to prove yourself to a person, is to carry on just being yourself, and giving no mind to what they think, at all. Instead, let your actions disprove their theory.

And, as much as I personally hate being accused of being a person that Im not, I know that I have great morals, values and standards. And, based on that, I know that I have nothing to prove to anyone.

So, next time you hear someone say “Stay away from her (or him), she’s a horrible person…”, do yourself a solid, and make a decision to make up your OWN mind about a person. Because, that’s what ‘grown ups’ do.

And, you might just surprise yourself, and ‘accidentally’ LIKE someone who you were being convinced to hate?

Life is a series of choices, all collectively leading us to our ‘now’. 
The wiser our choices, the better our ‘now’.

And, electively losing my voice wasn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, sometimes, the less noise you make, the more obvious it is where the trouble comes from.

Love you!

– Mean it.

 

 Natalya x x

 
 
If anything you’ve read here resonates with you, or you think it could help another woman in need of encouragement or support, please feel free to share, (or, give it the ‘thumbs up’!) so they might have a chance to find their way back to our beautiful 30plus community…
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